Saturday, September 6, 2014

I encountered a VERY interesting story about a "men's movement"--and the controversy surrounding it.  And I have to say, I was very disappointed with the coverage of it, because I feel that it missed what the real "issue" is, and that it fell short of addressing what is actually culturally relevant about this movement.

So the "controversy" about the men's movement was that there were SOME men in the group who voiced hateful feelings toward women:  Mysogyny.  And in my opinion, that is a non-story.  OF COURSE THERE ARE GOING TO BE MISGUIDED INDIVIDUALS who think that a movement has to be oppositional--that if you are FOR one thing, you must be AGAINST OTHERS.  This is NOT news, this is not a story, and this is NOT what's relevant and interesting about a Men's Movement!!!  This is a distraction, and undermines the integrity of the men who DO seek appropriately to unite with other men to support each other.

I was DELIGHTED to hear about a men's movement!  And I am a feminist.  and for all you men and women out there who think that "Feminist" is a bad word, and that "feminism" is about MAN-HATING--you are wrong.  That is NOT what FEMINISM is about--that is the attitude of some very misguided individuals who have used the name of "feminism" to INAPPROPRIATELY express personal difficulties with relationships with men, just as some men seem to have some confusion about what it means to participate in a men's movement! This is NOT surprising.   Really?  I'm the only one who finds this to be a trite and obvious phenomenon?  We have seen this time and time again--there are always a few people who don't get it--who threaten to poison a positive idea in the community with their attitude of scarcity.  but the truth will prevail, and i think especially these men who have anger and hatred toward women need a safe place to express that and some compassionate guidance as to how to cope with these feelings in a healthy way starting with being heard, and to hopefully outgrow these painful attitudes.  I believe that that is what a "men's movement" is about!  and I am grateful that men are willing to seek support, and to be of service to each other and to help each other grow.

So unfortunately, in every movement there will be a few clearly misguided individuals whose personal pain clouds their ability to participate in a positive movement appropriately.  And since you asked, it is my opinion that these misguided individuals be encouraged to talk about their pain and their hurt, for they are JUST as entitled to the support of a movement as those who have moved past that.  Can we as a culture acknowledge the truth of the matter:  support of one gender does NOT necessitate the subversion of another?  I am a feminist.  I love and support BOTH men and women.  I believe that all beings can approach THEIR OWN movement this way!  This is an attitude of abundance and tolerance that works for me, and I hope that it works for other people too.